Turning Drama Into Dharma






Life throws all us challenges and this year seems to have been full of them for me. Some have been joyful, such as launching my new book, others, not so much. Having taken this long to feel safe enough to finally publish poems that deal with my Jewish heritage and experiences of anti-semitism, suddenly there's a war and it's become a lot less safe. Other challenges have been a string of health and domestic crises, all very trying but ultimately resolvable. One thing about challenge is that there's always an opportunity (forgive the dreaded cliché) for learning. Learning something that builds character and soul, even if it's simple acceptance. As a therapist I've tried to look at things this way, I may not recognise it immediately and fall into reaction. However, once I catch on to the possibility, it makes a difference to how I process the situation and I'm able to let go of panic and focus on how to deal with it.

As my friends can attest, I've been a lifelong drama queen and it seems to me that I'm being challenged to not get caught in emotional drama and work on building emotional resilience and equanimity. Now I'm older, my body reacts much quicker to stress and I no longer have the stamina to cope. One of my favourite quotes is from Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy, he said, Pain is an experience, while suffering is a performance. As an ex-actor, I know exactly what he means. For some reason I have a flash recall of Peter Sellars as Inspector Clouseau in Pink Panther. He employs a karate expert called Cato, to attack him by surprise, like leaping out of the freezer at him. Of course Clouseau always fails to foil the attack and gets mashed. It was a hilarious running gag and I recall Clouseau's catch phrase, Not Now Cato!
Life doesn't always give us any warning.

At this moment I'm remembering the number of times my father would call me in a flap and I'd be irritated, because I knew it was probably just a drama. My parents were always creating them. As they became elderly I couldn't take the risk, so I would end up driving all the way to London only to discover my initial assessment was correct and I'd feel even more furious. Aha! I've just learned something from remembering this, no wonder I keep getting caught up in my own dramas.

Why waste energy kvetching/angsting when a calmer mind can provide strength, clarity and alternative solutions? Easy enough to say, but worth working on improving the skills. Buddhist teaching certainly offers much wisdom on this, helping us to step back from the storms and centre ourselves. I admit to meltdowns, but once I realise I'm caught in emotional drama the more able I am to detach and reassess the situation.

Of course there are many in far more challenging, even life threatening situations than myself. Personally, I think we are living in turbulent times with so many systems we've taken for granted becoming unreliable. So many of us are having to adapt rapidly and find alternative strategies – for life, for finances, or health issues. All I know is the more we are able to step back and not get caught in the maelstrom of emotional reaction, the better equipped we are to respond.  May we all find strength, peace of mind and love in these difficult times.


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